Kyle Harty Strang: April 2010

Monday, April 5, 2010

Leib's Playlist for Kyle's Funeral

Track	Name	Time	Artist	Album	Genre
1	This Years Love	4:04	David Gray	David Gray—Greatest Hits	Rock
2	Skinny Love	3:59	Bon Iver	For Emma, Forever Ago	Alternative
3	I’ll Be Missing You	5:02	Puff Daddy & Faith Evans	Bad Boy’s 10^th Anniversary—The Hits	R&B/Soul
4	Somewhere Over the Rainbow	3:31	Israel Kamakawiwo’ole	Alone in IZ World	World
5	Young Forever (featuring Mr. Hudson	4:14	Jay—Z	The Blueprint 3 (Deluxe Version)	Hip Hop/Rap
6	Babylon	3:36	David Gray	David Gray—Greatest Hits	Rock
7	Amazing Grace	4:06	The Canadian Scottish Regiment Pipes & Drums & The Marine Aircraft Wing Band	Canadian Bagpipes & American Brass	Classical
8	Halleluja	4:09	Rufus Wainwright	Halleluja--Single	Alternative
9	Stand By Me	2:58	Ben E. King	Ben E. King Anthology	R&B/Soul
10	Show Me	4:58	John Legend	Once Again	R&B/Soul
11	We Sail the Winds	3:22	Bungee Jumpin Cows	Rockin’ The Foundations of Science	Folk
12	Kimber	3:51	Sam Adams
13	Like You’ll Never See Me Again	5:15	Alice Keys	As I Am	R&B/Soul
14	Up On Cripple Creek	4:35	The Band	The Last Waltz	Rock
15	Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)	4:04	John Lennon	Double Fantasy (Remastered)	Rock
16	Forever Young	4:56	Bob Dylan	The Essential Bob Dylan	Rock

Aunt Sandi's Letter to Kyle

Dear Kyle,

Today I stand on the bima at Temple Emanuel. This is the same Temple where your grandparents, Lillian and Carl Strang were married in 1952, the same Temple you had your baby naming at in 1993, and the same Temple where your cousin Jeremy will be Bar Mitzvah next February. Your baby naming was such a joyous occasion for all of us. Sara and Erin got the cousin they always dreamed of. You were the first Strang boy of their generation. Today we are all here again to say goodbye to you…I mean “see ya”.

Ky Ky. That’s what I called you. I can’t take credit for the name, your brother Niko was the originator when he was just learning to talk. Our family was good at nicknames. Your papa started that. You had other names too. Croc, Crocodile, Killahkyle to name a couple.

Ky Ky, we never finished our conversation Wednesday morning. I still had to ask you over for burritos and 24 next Monday with Jesse and Erin and if you wanted to go to Dunsmuir with us this year. I had thought that maybe we could have your birthday up there. Oh, and Sara has a job for you to do at her wedding. When you stopped texting, I thought, “Oh, well, I can always talk to him later.” My old fingers need a break. That was an hour and a half before your tragic accident with PJ.

Now I find out that not only were you texting with me, but you were texting with Gayle and Hannah and probably innumerable others of your great circle of treasured friends, and taking a shower! You made us ALL your priority.

Kyle, your doors were just beginning to open for you. I felt that you were beginning to find yourself, your inner peace… and you had a plan. And you and Hannah found each other. All the pieces were finally coming together for you. And, on top of that, you and I were really getting to have a relationship. I can’t tell you the high I was on after our great dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and our bad movie date. How we laughed after that movie about how we both sat all the way through such a bad movie – and what was that movie about anyway? We never really figured that out did we? But the conversation that night was good. Really good. I really felt we connected in a way we never had before. I was so proud of you and so impressed with your maturity. Didn’t I say that you were way way more mature than I? I meant it.

And I was so looking forward to coming to your CAS open house again this year. You said that this year’s was going to be even better than last year and that this year I would see some of your films. I couldn’t wait.

You have amazing friends Kyle. I have spoken with a lot of them in the last couple of days. They all had the same wonderful things to say about you. You are funny, you are caring, you are honest, and “you were always there for me”. What a tribute. I know how important each and every one of them were to you and you to them. Each and every one of you here today was a part of Kyle. Because of you Kyle, we are all a little richer. What a great group of people you surrounded yourself with.

Your life was way too short Ky Ky. You didn’t make it to your homeland but you have made it home. You are taking your Star of David on your heart and your She’ma with you and that will give you comfort and peace. We know what that Star of David meant to you. I saw the way you touched it. From what I understand, you and PJ were having the best time, right up until the last seconds of your lives. And that is good. All of us are going to miss you. Your parents, all of your aunts and uncles, cousins Jeremy, Carlyn, Sara and Erin and all the Karim cousins, grandmothers Lillian and Evelyn and for sure all of your hundreds of friends. You touched us all Ky Ky and a part of you lives in each one of us.

Sandi

(Kyle's Aunt)

From Kyle's "Auntie" Sharon Strang

My "Crocodile"...There are too many words, too many fun, funny, incredible stories, and times we spent together.....just you and me......in La Jolla, Berkeley, LA at Shiela's, kyaking, going to the swap-meet, flying First Class together, shopping together, for both of us, laughing really hard, watching movies, hanging out with your friends, having dinner with your friends, and hearing all your "boy stories", and stories from your cruises, with your Mom.....hot-tubbing under the stars at my house, while it was raining, at 1:00 in the morning, just because I promised you I would. I always told you, you were one of the best things about my life, and that will never change. That phone call we had, while you were at school, after your first car accident (i couldnt believe you actually picked up at school...i felt so honored) was the sweetest....well, just one of the sweetest talks we had. Going for ribs, so we could share "kosher pork" together, at PJ's favorite barbeque place.....the lottery tickets.....going for a cruise, so I could meet Hannah, while she was working at the bakery....my last time, spent with my Crocodile. My heart is broken, and my world seems catiwumpus.....but I carry your heart in my heart forever and ever......for as long as I live, Crocodile. You always were, are are, one of the best things about my life. I can still hear you say, "Hey auntie!"

Words from Kyle's Uncle Gary

Kyle had a depth of character that grew out of the unique circumstances of his life.

He had a strong sense of his Jewish identity and he planned to go to Israel and become whole there.

He had the Shema tattooed on his chest, I advised him against it, and when finally I saw it, it was even bigger than I imagined it would be.

He acted unconditionally with integrity and strength.

He protected his mother and father from the outside world, even when he disagreed with them.

He was a role model to his little cousins who are my children, Jeremy and Carlyn.

He had assembled an amazingly thoughtful group of friends from all races in Berkeley, and the parents who came along with those friends were his friends also.

As his friends have noted, he loved clothes and he used to borrow this suit for special occasions.

When his pants got too low or his warm up suit got to baggy I used to tell him I knew a good tailor who could do alterations.

He worked for the last two summers in my architecture office and he won the respect of the people there of all ages. As a going away present they considered buying him a belt.

In the past few months, when I saw Kyle with Hanna, I had the sense that he had freed himself from the most difficult aspects of his upbringing.

I have always known that it was Kyle who was ok, and it was the world around him that was imperfect.

Tim Crew's Unspoken Comments

The universe is a pretty big place.

That any of us appear anywhere seems pretty unlikely.

That Kyle was among us was beyond probability. Just like the chances of his A’s getting to the World Series….

Kids of best friends are like kids of your own. Even with a separation of space limiting our time together, we all felt an affection toward Kyle that is normally reserved for family.

It seems like in recent times, Claire, Ruby, Sarah and I have been feeling unprecedented pain for the myriad conflicts and struggles waged around the world. It has been real, and often debilitating, ….but nevertheless the pain has been somewhat abstract for us because it has remained largely impersonal.

The loss of Kyle just opened up an unfiltered floodgate of personal grief into our family, the likes of which we have never before known, and we know our grief still does not approach that of Kyle or Prentice’s family and closest friends.

And I know for me, the floodgate Kyle opened has allowed other shared grief felt around the world by parents, siblings and friends in so many places, in so many circumstances to come pouring in. I don’t consider this a silver lining, but nevertheless a powerful and unexpected awakening. We cry reading the paper.

In response, Kyle is making us love, hope and care like never before.

So it’s time again to plant a garden. Time to heal the world. And it is baseball season again.

From Tsuyoshi

Dear Craig, Persis, and Niko.

I could not believe it.

I want to believe it's not true.

I remember Kyle's genial greetings.

very very sad. he was good boy.

All people will die in one life.

I will also die in the future.

In Buddhism, a soul is living forever.

I think most important is praying and thinking for Kyle soul's living forever.

I will pray Kyle with you at every morning and evening.

I wish to express my sincerest sympathy to you.

Please accept my condolences on the loss of your son.

Tsuyoshi

This is web site of Kenji Miyazawa's poem. His famous poem "Don't defeated the rain". Japanese curtain is signed.

He had a sister died when he was teen. He wrote a poem about sister "Morning of Final Farewell"

Morning of Final Farewell

My little sister,

About to depart to a place far beyond before the day is out.

The sleet has fallen outside, and it's oddly bright.

(Gemme some ameyuju willyoo Kenj'ya.）1

From the clouds of pale-red, that is all the more bleak,

The sleet comes a-dripping and a-drizzling down

(Gemme me some ameyuju willyoo Kenj'ya.）

Gathering the sleet snow for you to nibble on,

Inside two chipped porcelain bowls with

The junsai[water-shield]2 plant painted blue,

I, like a stray bullet,

Darted out into the dark of the [falling] sleet.

(Gemme me some ameyuju willyoo Kenj'ya.）

From the bismuth-colored dark clouds,

The sleet comes a-dripping and a-drizzling down.

Oh Toshiko,

At a time like this,

When you're on the brink of death,

You have asked me for a scoop-full of refreshing snow,

Thank you, my little sister, so giving and brave,

I too will continue ahead straight onward.

(Gemme some ameyuju willyoo, Kenj'ya）

In between the oh-so violent fevers and gasping,

You asked me to get

The last bowl-ful of snow, descended from the skies,

The realm of galaxies and suns and atmospheres...

.. Upon two quarry-blocks of granite,

where the sleet are lonesomely deposited,

I perched upon them precariously.

And from the glistening pine-boughs

Filled with cold transparent beads that maintain

The hoar-white, two-phase equilibria betwixt snow and water,

I shall take away the last food for my little sister.

The indigo-colored patterns on the familiar bowls that

We grew up with,

You'll be parted from them too, after today.

(Ora Orade Shitori egumo

[I'll just go off on my own I will])

It's true, you really are departing from us today,

Oh, within the enclosure of the patient's room,

On the other side of the dark folding-screen and mosquito nets,

You are burning away with pale blue light,

My little sister, so brave.

This snow is so awfully pure-white, wherever you might choose.

From those frightful, roiling skies,

This beautiful snow has come.

(I'm gonna be born again, and

next time, I'll make sure everything won't be so bad

I hurt so muuuch all the time.)

To those two bowl-fuls of snow you're eating,

I will now pray, from my heart.

Oh may this [snow] now turn into a heavenly ice cream

Providing you and everyone holy sustenance.

This I pray with all the ability I can muster.

Notes:

1 Inside the parentheses is the dialogue spoken Kenji's sister in a northeastern dialect, perhaps in somewhat of a kiddie language. I have attempted to replicate it by inventing an odd contraction gemme= get me, as a variant to gimme = give me. ameyuju is also a dialect for sleet. Kenj'ya is an affectionate way of addressing Kenji. It's hard for me to tell precisely, whether this corresponds to "Kenji-chan (Kenny)" or "Ken an-chan (brother Ken)".

2 The water shield is a sort of miniature aquatic water-lily, with less conspicuous lavender flowers. The round leaves spread out afloat on the surface of water, but when these shoots are still young buds, they are covered in a gelatinous substance and are picked and eaten as a spring delicacy. Here, "blue" should be construed as the blue on white porcelain called gosu or sometsuke in Japan.

http://www.home.ix.netcom.com/~kyamazak/lit/_Jpoet/miyazawa_eiketu.htm

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Rabbi Jhos Singer, Part 1 (more to come...being transcribed)

Welcome everyone who has come out today to show your support to Kyle’s family, to come together as a community to grapple with this almost unfathomable occurrence. Achi just invoked the Angel’s of Peace that we bring in, that we invite in, on Shabbat, the day of rest, the day of peace. And these Angels come to us from magical and mysterious places to hold a container for us to be able to depart from the daily concerns that the working week keeps us attending to, and allows us to enter into a sacred space of possibility, a sacred space of hope, a sacred space of what could be and not what is. And in so many ways that is the task that we have at hand today, also. Because to live with what is, a loss like this so sudden and so young, we can’t live like that. We have to cull through the memories and the experiences of life in order to go forward and attend to the daily world. There is a translation of what Achi just sang that was offered by Rabbi Romi Shapiro, and I thought it was a perfect way of thinking about it for us today, “Angels are another name for feelings. When we love and act with kindness, we create angels of love and kindness. When we hate and act with violence, we create angels of hatred and violence. It is our job to fill the world with angels love of love and messengers of kindness that link us together as one family, and I think that is exactly what we are here to do today, to find all those angels of love and kindness, and funny, ridiculous stories and strength and courage and a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold as we enter into what is very difficult work. A big part of what we are here to do in these next few hours is the mitzvah of Kavot Hamet, the mitzvah, the sacred deed of burying our dead. There is no easy or pretty way to put it. That is what we are here to do. And that is hard work, but that is work that a loving, caring, courageous community can do better than anybody else. And so, as we take a few moments this morning to draw our strength together, to find our courage, to live in this community for a couple of hours, we draw upon Jewish tradition that says that it is really OK, it is really OK for this to be hard. It is supposed to be hard. But it can’t stay hard for the rest of our lives. Part of how we keep that difficulty contained, is by really focusing, by really working together, and really supporting each other, in stepping off into very, very difficult terrain. But we don't do it without some sense that there is more joy than grief here, that there is more good than bad, that this is a place for forgiveness, that this is a place for learning, that this is a place for celebrating life, even as it is a place to grieve and to hunger a little bit. So, we want to begin with some words from some of the people who were very, very close to Kyle to give us some perspective, and to start helping us to come to grips with what we are here to do. So, I would like to invite up Hasmig Minassian to read a poem that Kyle wrote.

Hasmig's reading of Kyle's "I Believe" poem

My name is Hasmig Minassian and I’m one of many, in Kyle’s Berkeley High CAS family of teachers and friends. Our community has spent the last four days honoring a young man who raised a passionate voice to every cause he believed in, who constantly stretched a loving hand onto the tense shoulders of a good friend, and who valiantly faced the world’s troubles with his intellect, his profound sense of duty, and a pulsing heart too big for his body.

At the beginning of the school year, I assigned the students in my US History class the Bull Durham credo called the “I Believe” poem. It is intended to be a reflection of the values and experiences which shape each of them as they approach our country’s rich and complicated narrative. As a tribute to Kyle, I’d like to read his aloud today. Clearly our dear boy knew himself well.

------------------------------------------------

Bull Durham Credo

American History

Ms. Minassian

9/11/2009

I Believe

By Kyle Harty Strang

I believe in summer night baseball games

I believe in playing basketball til they shut the lights off, and then still playing

I believe in staying up late until you pass out

I believe in practice makes perfect

I believe in double servings of food