Leib's Words about Kyle shared at the CAS Memorial

Is there any way good way to start a speech that you are reading at one of your best friend’s funeral? There are so many memories so many feelings its hard to know where to start. Over the last 13 years I have known and spent time around Kyle and a lot has rubbed off. Kyle has always been a teacher and has taught me many lessons and values that I still carry with me today. Kyle taught me how to be independent, how to get girls, and how to stand up to authority. Not only did Kyle teach me by example but also by his mistakes. In a way Kyle led and I followed, copying the success I saw, and learning from his faults. And Kyle would do the same with me in my fields of specialty.

When you were around Kyle he provoked many feelings.  You felt loved, appreciated, and special, but also young, led, and protected. I felt like whatever we were doing was important, exciting, and fun.  Kyle was so so generous. We all knew that Kyle was very conservative when it came to money. But when it came down to the ones he loved he never was stingy. If you didn’t have money Kyle would pay and you’d tell him you’d pay him back and he would say “don’t worry about it” or “you’d do the same for me.”

Kyle’s death is still a very fresh wound and it is still hard to feel the full effect of his vacancy. I still expect to be sitting in first period and Kyle to walk in late and out of breath as he always did and turn to me and say “hey what did I miss?”. I feel the longing to be asked that question one more time, to have one more massage given by those warm small rough hands, one more tide pool trip where we catch a shark, one more late night talk, one more debate, one more group project, one more flawless smile (which was perfected with 7 years of braces), one more warm hug filled with care.  To think that these wishes will never be fulfilled is almost unbearable.

The saddest part for me is the absence, the hole both immediate and in the future, that Kyle leaves in his death. The thought that, after 10 years of Kyle being in my classes, that there won’t be anyone to call the night before the assignment is due and say “Hey can I get that OPA?” Or the weekly 11:00 pm Sunday night calls from Kyle saying, “was there any homework this weekend?” I would reply “yes” and he would respond “Oh yeah I totally forgot, Fuck, is it worth doing?” and me saying “Naw, but you can copy me in morning.” And I couldn’t say that to too many people considering Kyle was the only person who could read my handwriting. And the only reason he could was because his was just as bad as mine.

As Mr. Boltz has taught us, the law of conservation of matter states that matter can neither be destroyed nor created. It can only change form. Kyle has not left us, he has only changed form. He has changed from his physical being to living in the actions and ideals that he has left with the ones that loved him. He lives in the changes he made to this world and the people who live in it. He lives in our ability to appreciate the smallest things, our skill of looking past his first impressions and discovering the person underneath, our unwavering passion, our unconditional generosity, and our strength in standing by what we believe in no matter who or how many our against us.

Kyle always ended all of his essays with a quote because he (and Edward Norton) said that ‘someone else has already said it best. So if you can’t top it, steal from them and go out strong’. So I am stealing this from Kyle’s favorite movie, American History X:

“'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'” 

Abe Lincoln